"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading." These are shooting tips from various Concealed Carry Instructors. If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules. If not, you should get one, learn how to use it and learn the rules: RULES: A : Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians. B : Its always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6. C : Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you. D : Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arms length. E : Never say "I've got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they should hear is the safety clicking off. F : The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes; the response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second. G : The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always Win - there is no such thing as a fair fight. Always Win - cheat if necessary. H : Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets ....You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it because it will be empty. I : If you're in a gun fight: (a) If you're not shooting, you should be loading. (b) If you're not loading, you should be moving. (c) If you're not moving, you're dead. J : In a life and death situation, do something ....it may be wrong, but do something ! K : If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about? L : You can say 'stop' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language; and, you won't have to press 1 for Spanish/Mexican or 2 for Chinese or 3 for Arabic. M : Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill. In court, yours will be the only testimony. N : You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.
For the few of you who have missed him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The
History Channel's " Mail Call " and played the Drill Instructor in the
movie, " Full Metal Jacket. " He recently played the totally
unsympathetic psychiatrist in a GIECO commercial. He is a retired Marine
Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read. So,
for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee
Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the
Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.
ANYWAY, THE STORY GOES:
We pick up as a reporter asks about " how this potential war crime will affect our image in the world" Ermey: "WHAT KIND OF A PANSY-AS*ED QUESTION IS THAT?"
Reporter 1: "Well, sir I think...."
"THINK, FANCY BOY ??! GET THIS THROUGH THAT SEPTIC TANK ON TOP OF YOUR
SHOULDERS, MORON : I DON'T GIVE A D**N WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND
ME?? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT, SH*TH*AD. SO GET YOUR HEAD
OUT OF YOUR A*S AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN
NEXT QUESTION: YOU IN THE BLUE SUIT."
Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important ?
"OH SURE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP
WORRYING ABOUT WHAT SOME GODD*MNED FRENCH PANSY THINKS! OH THE DAYS I
HAVE HAD TO WEEP, BECAUSE SOME SH*T EATING TERRORIST SCUMBAG MIGHT BE
MAD AT US, BECAUSE WE WENT INTO WHATEVER GOD FORSAKEN HOLE IN THE SH*T
THAT HE LIVES IN AND KILLED HIM. WHAT THE H*LL KIND OF DUMBA*S QUESTION
IS THAT YOU PET*R-PUFFING JACKA*S? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ,
AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW
YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABL E
TO BURY YOUR SORRY A*S IN A THIMBLE! YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
THINKING. YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINK ING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN
"EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER
PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU P*LE-SMOKING
PANSY! I DON'T GIVE A D*MN WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A
D*MN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK
ON MAMMA'S T*T! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT? NOW GET THE H*LL OUT OF MY
PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND KICK THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF YOU!!
NEXT QUESTION: YOU WITH THE UGLY-AS*ED TIE, LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS HIDEOUS!"
Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by.."
"FREEDOM? WHAT IN BLUE H*LL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE SWEATED
MY A*S OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION! WHAT IN THE
H*LL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SH*T-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU PUT YOUR A*S ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE
UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING QUARTERBACK THE
ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM
AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I
AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMB-N*TS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF
GRABAS*TIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR
BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED
ABOUT CHICKEN-SH*T PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS
AND WHINE ABOUT THEIR P*SS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!
Reporter 3: "I...I.."
"DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING, NUMB
N*TS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY HOLE IN
THAT SH*T-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF YOU
PANSY-AS*ED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I
SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR AS* THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY
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